


keep pushing me away (but i'm not letting you go)

by MillieMay



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29482119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MillieMay/pseuds/MillieMay
Summary: Jessica shows up on Gil's doorstep one night, without warning. Not even she knows what she's looking for
Relationships: Gil Arroyo/Jessica Whitly
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	keep pushing me away (but i'm not letting you go)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [youngghosts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngghosts/gifts), [gilica gc](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=gilica+gc).



> Been sitting on this idea for a minute but I finally had the inspiration to throw something together with it!! Meant this as a Valentine’s oneshot but I’ve been drawing a lot more recently and I had to finish a piece for my best friend’s birthday so that took priority. Hope y’all enjoy this!!
> 
> And happy birthday Em. Love you

The tap on the door is so light and quick that even in the stillness of his apartment Gil almost misses it. He glances at the cats who lie on the chair together, confirming that it wasn’t either of them before he rises, abandoning the glass of bourbon on the coffee table. He thinks briefly how it was strange the knock came only a short while after he got home. He had time to eat the takeout he picked up and pour himself a glass before it came.

Taking a glance at the security camera recording who’s at his door clicks everything into place though. Even with her back turned, the figure is unmistakably Jessica. The green gown hugs her figure with her hair falling in curls down her back. She must have come straight from a charity gala or something.

When he realizes she’s walking away he moves to the door quicker than he probably should. He pulls it open, breathless for more than one reason.

“Jess.” He calls out and she freezes. Everything in her body calculates whether to walk away or turn around. He can see it in the way her shoulders pull together, her hands hugging herself as if trying to beat out a part of her that wants to stay. When she turns his breath catches in his throat.

Her eyes are red rimmed, her cheeks flushed with every emotion. She looks as exhausted as he feels. Part of him wonders if it’s been as long since she’s had a good night’s sleep as it has for him. She swallows and tears that she’d been trying to hold back slide down her face.

He’s on her in seconds cradling her arms with both hands. “What happened? Are the kids ok?” She does the head tilt that is a universal sign  _ are they ever?  _ But then she shakes her head, it’s not about them. “What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

She takes a breath but it comes out choked, quelling the panic she’s all too familiar with. “Cricket died.”

“Cricket?” He’s familiar with the woman, having met her on more than one occasion. Short, tense exchanges mostly told him all he needed to know about her. “Is Adolpho outside?” She nods. “I’ll text him and say you’re staying here tonight.” She doesn’t even try to protest and it makes his heart ache. Normally she’d put up a fake fight about how she has meetings, brunch with Malcolm. She’d always end up staying but no protests…

This is bad.

“Come on.” He guides her inside gently setting her on the couch before going to pour her a glass as well. He keeps his eyes on her the entire time, watching as she rocks herself back and forth. Atlas sits on her lap which seems to relax her, even if only slightly. Her hand comes to stroke his back finding comfort in his purring.

“Thank you.” Her voice is barely a whisper as he passes her the glass. He sets the bottle on the table, figuring they’ll probably need it tonight. “I’m sorry about this. I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Don’t apologize. I told you I’m here for you and I meant it Jess. I want you to come to me.” The last words come out thicker than he wanted. He wants more than this, they both do. He pushes all of that aside because right now she needs him. “What happened?”

She tips her head back, trying to recall the events in her mind. “We were at the Andres Foundation, I was in talks of taking over a portion of it when Nicolette steps down. Her daughters want nothing to do with it but she wanted someone who-” She shakes her head stopping herself. He can see her scolding herself for already getting off track. “I was mingling, meeting new people when I came across Cricket. We were just doing the usual going back and forth. I thought-” She laughs, a bitter aching laugh. “I thought I’d finally made the bitch speechless.” She runs her teeth over her bottom lip. “And then she just fell.”

“Oh, Jess.”

“A heart attack.” She moves to run her hands through her hair only stopping when she remembers the probable hundreds of bobby pins holding it perfectly in place. “It’s not confirmed yet but you spend so many years married to a surgeon.”

He hops up right there taking her hand in his. If she’s talking about Martin so casually, it’s bad. “Jess, you couldn’t have done anything about this.”

“I know.” She takes a deep breath, her hand holding his even tighter as she gathers the words. “After Martin… Everything changed. I was an outcast. My children were on the ledge at every second, and they still are, my marriage was in  _ shambles _ . But Cricket was  _ always _ there.” He makes a face at that, more than familiar with Jessica’s rantings about her. “Not in that way.” He tilts his head confused but lets her explain. “Cricket was  _ always _ jealous of me. The Miltons and the Van de Camps were always in competition. Every conversation was a verbal sparring match.”

“And it didn’t change.” Gil sits back, understanding now why this hit her so hard.

“Everything changed, except that. Cricket Van de Camp was  _ always  _ a bitch.” She chews on the inside of her cheek for a second. “And the last thing she said to be was  _ death seems to follow the Whitlys around every turn.  _ Guess she was right. Guess you were right.”

“No.” Her eyes flash up to him at the harshness in his tone, rarely did he use it outside of work. Much less on any of them. “I was wrong. You aren’t a curse. The Whitlys are not a curse. Hell, you all might be one of the best things that happened to me.”

“Jackie would beg to differ.”

“Jackie is on the same level. But Malcolm and Ainsley.” He sighs with a small smile. “They’re like my own. I’d give anything for them. For you.”

“Gil.” Her voice is the broken whisper again. The one of someone who’s been hurt far too many times in her life. Burned by love over and over yet somehow, she still has the biggest heart he knows. One she gifted to her children. “Please.”

“I love you Jessica.” Her breath catches, as if she didn’t know this already. Maybe she did, but she was too afraid to hope. He brings his hand to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing away the fresh trail of tears. “I wanted to tell you before but I was scared. I didn’t want to lose you again.”

“But you did. I pushed you away. Again”

“I can handle it.” She gives him the no nonsense look she normally reserves for Malcolm and he chuckles. “I mean it. Push away. I’m not going anywhere. Not again.”

“I don’t know if I can say-” She doesn’t finish the words. She doesn’t have to. She doesn’t know if she can say I love you. After Martin, she mentioned it before. It feels like so long ago and she was drunk, but the memory still lingers in his mind. He smiles bringing the hand that he was holding to his lips where he presses a gentle kiss to it.

“I know. I’ll just have to say it enough for the both of us.” Her expression softens and her fingers trace his lips. He can already see it in her eyes. How much she wants the words to come out. To be able to say them without fear of everything crumbling beneath her all over again. Her gaze runs over him and he can feel it, even if she can’t bring herself to say it. “I know you do.”

She crashes into him at that moment, her lips on his kissing him with every emotion she can’t find the words for. He just smiles into the kiss, matching her energy with his own. He pours everything into holding her, making her feel safe, making her feel loved.

She deserves it. They both do.


End file.
